Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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