i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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