it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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