She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the day after is always just damage control
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
