i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I love you. Go after that dick
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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