So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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