I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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