we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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