haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize