her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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