I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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