can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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