Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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