I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
