Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
