I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
