Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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