There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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