pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
