If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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