why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
