69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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