I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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