So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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