FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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