At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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