I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
