I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize