after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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