I hate your face
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
did i just pee glitter
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
