if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
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We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?