I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch