Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober