In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
