WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
