For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
