I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
