yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
did i just pee glitter
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
