Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
