I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
