im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
