Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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