Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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