I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
