If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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