I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
