How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
