Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
