I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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