sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
