needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
