I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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