Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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