He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
