Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
