I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
