coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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