why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I need a beard to bite.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
