Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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