My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
