This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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