They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
