I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
