I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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