I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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