I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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